Nothing new happens
I have been reading a lot about the inward-focused drive. Different ways to build that, how people grow over time and what deep work can you build. This gets blurred in the daily activity of life. I don’t see it at all. I can’t see how I am changing although I am doing most of it. Ironically it sucks to be self-aware enough to know you are not changing yet. There are improvements that you can see daily when you exercise or you work out. One can see the material difference, much faster. Better speed, breathing, ability to exercise longer, not getting exhausted. This is visible in specific activities, like cooking. I cook way better in the past few months than the previous year.
It shows up in reading too. Sometimes, you begin to explore new topics to read, start experimenting. Other than that, it is hard to notice. Changes in writing habits, style, frequency are much harder to observe. I can see the difference in a decade when I read my old blog, but hardly in a year. But once you do write more often, your ability to edit out does improve. I am able to list out some differences because of writing this down. But it is still harder to observe what has changed in me over time. A pandemic has caused most of us to reflect. Not everyone realizes how different they are when it ends. Nothing new happens the way we see it. And yet it is happening and it is here, now.
